Never Let Anger Lead You, Releasing Your Anger Is The Golden Path
Never Let Anger Lead You, Releasing Your Anger Is The Golden Path
Sep 13
“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you. ”
There are helpful ways and harmful ways to release your anger. For instance, sometimes we’d rather remain angry than admit to our anger.
Keep in mind: anger is not necessarily wrong. It only becomes wrong if we release it in a way that is inappropriate or destructive. My experience is that most of us learned to express our anger when we were two or three years old, and we’re still expressing our anger in the same way as adults. Needless to say, this simply doesn’t work.
Most people express their anger in such a way that they end up farther away from their goal than they were before they became angry. Anger, expressed inappropriately, has the opposite effect of producing the intended results.
Blowing up at people never produces lasting change; it only produces more anger and alienation. We know that but we still do it. It doesn’t produce lasting change.
Something to keep in mind is that anger is never really the root problem. It is usually a symptom that reveals one of three things that is happening: hurt, fear, frustration. These are the three things that make us angry, and this is why we should always stop and cool down. It allows us to think:
– Am I hurt?
– Am I afraid? Perhaps feeling threatened, or that I’m going to lose something of value?
– Or, am I frustrated?
Understanding the source of your anger will help you respond in an appropriate manner, so that your anger does not “lead you”.
“A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it” (Proverbs 29:11 TLB).
When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I’m not saying delay indefinitely, or even beyond a day; the Bible says don’t go to sleep when you’re angry. I’m talking about delaying it for five minutes.
When you start to get ticked off, you take ‘time out’ for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to stop, reflect and think it through. If you don’t stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before you respond.
When we get angry, we need to get in the habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and looking at the situation from God’s point of view. Notice the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So ‘cool it’ is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”
While you’re cooling down, ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry:
– Why am I angry?
– What do I really want?
– How can I get it?
– What will being angery do for me?
Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and, perhaps, even the ability to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).